So I decided to take things into my own hands because it was Tuesday and I still hadn't heard anything from the Colposcopy clinic. I contacted my doctor's office to get confirmation that the requisition had, indeed, been sent. They assured me it had gone through as urgent, and re-sent the requisition, as well. They said if I didn't hear anything by the end of day then I should call them back. Within a couple of hours, I got a phone call for an appointment the next day (Wednesday).
I booked a few hours off work during my meeting with my boss. She was a fantastic support for me, and I am confident that my employer will do what they can to help me with time off and coverage, etc. That's a big relief. So my lesson for others is to always ask for what you need, and don't take a backseat when it comes to your own needs.
My appointment started out all right. I met with a nurse prior to the procedure and she explained that sometimes the PAP lab results can be a little over-exaggerated, but they wouldn't know until the doctor had a look. She explained the procedure and all the possible outcomes, and for a moment, I let myself think that the results were wrong. Again, when I thought about it realistically, I knew that I had had some bleeding, so it was unlikely the results were incorrect.
When I got into the room for the procedure, the doctor explained everything to me again. There was a video screen where I could watch the procedure. I was able to see the growth and its size. It took about 10 minutes, and was very uncomfortable and a little painful. He was a very good doctor, but it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying because I was in a lot of discomfort afterwards. He said that he would send the sample to the lab to see if it was malignant, and emphasized that it probably was - I guess not to get my hopes up too far. Then he said based on its size and location, it was likely at stage 2. Now as much as that sounds like good news, the reality is that he isn't able to check if it's metastasized to stage 3 or 4 (other areas of the body) - lymph, rectum or bladder. So I will be going for a CT scan to check, likely within a week. He said he'd have the lab results back by early next week. He also said I'd definitely be going to Victoria for treatment within 2 weeks.
Again with the unknowns. And the waiting.
I made a grave error today ... one that I said I wouldn't do. I started to Google everything about cervical cancer, and mortality rates, and many other things I shouldn't have. So I started to worry about the things I read. I've been having back pain on and off, and I'm occasionally constipated- both are a symptom of spread into the rectum. I've also had many problems with blood in my urine and have gone for multiple rounds of tests and ultrasounds because of it. They've never found anything, but of course, my mind thinks that it must be a problem.
How to bring my thoughts and energy back to a place of healing, positivity, and hope? Why did I let myself go down that path of thinking?
Then, as a wonderful surprise, I get a delivery to my door. My aunt and uncle sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. It brightened the room, and in that moment, I was so grateful for all the love and support around me. Just knowing that others are thinking about me and pulling for me, makes me want to come out the other side of this thing healthy and strong.
I booked a few hours off work during my meeting with my boss. She was a fantastic support for me, and I am confident that my employer will do what they can to help me with time off and coverage, etc. That's a big relief. So my lesson for others is to always ask for what you need, and don't take a backseat when it comes to your own needs.
My appointment started out all right. I met with a nurse prior to the procedure and she explained that sometimes the PAP lab results can be a little over-exaggerated, but they wouldn't know until the doctor had a look. She explained the procedure and all the possible outcomes, and for a moment, I let myself think that the results were wrong. Again, when I thought about it realistically, I knew that I had had some bleeding, so it was unlikely the results were incorrect.
When I got into the room for the procedure, the doctor explained everything to me again. There was a video screen where I could watch the procedure. I was able to see the growth and its size. It took about 10 minutes, and was very uncomfortable and a little painful. He was a very good doctor, but it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying because I was in a lot of discomfort afterwards. He said that he would send the sample to the lab to see if it was malignant, and emphasized that it probably was - I guess not to get my hopes up too far. Then he said based on its size and location, it was likely at stage 2. Now as much as that sounds like good news, the reality is that he isn't able to check if it's metastasized to stage 3 or 4 (other areas of the body) - lymph, rectum or bladder. So I will be going for a CT scan to check, likely within a week. He said he'd have the lab results back by early next week. He also said I'd definitely be going to Victoria for treatment within 2 weeks.
Again with the unknowns. And the waiting.
I made a grave error today ... one that I said I wouldn't do. I started to Google everything about cervical cancer, and mortality rates, and many other things I shouldn't have. So I started to worry about the things I read. I've been having back pain on and off, and I'm occasionally constipated- both are a symptom of spread into the rectum. I've also had many problems with blood in my urine and have gone for multiple rounds of tests and ultrasounds because of it. They've never found anything, but of course, my mind thinks that it must be a problem.
How to bring my thoughts and energy back to a place of healing, positivity, and hope? Why did I let myself go down that path of thinking?
Then, as a wonderful surprise, I get a delivery to my door. My aunt and uncle sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. It brightened the room, and in that moment, I was so grateful for all the love and support around me. Just knowing that others are thinking about me and pulling for me, makes me want to come out the other side of this thing healthy and strong.
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